Dear Shini:

You are welcome.

“Do you think we should not expect anything from our partners? If yes, why and if no, how to know the limit?”-

We should expect a couple of things from our partners and be able and willing to give him the same:

– Respect at all times: never yelling at the other, calling names, and otherwise mistreating the other in any way, for any reason. In other words: do-no-harm to each other.

– Emotional support some of the time: no one can be emotionally available to another at all times, and therefore it is unrealistic to expect it at all times. Share with your partner (not your current boyfriend who is not much of a partner!) and seek his emotional support in moderation: don’t talk to him about your distress at any time of the day and night, wait for a better time when he is not working or otherwise occupied. Don’t go on and on and on, instead: put a time limit on how much you talk to him. After a few sentences, wait so that he has time to absorb what you said and ask him for his input. Make him part of a conversation instead of an audience to a monologue.

When you are not sure about the limit (“how to know the limit?”), ask him if it’s too much for him, and if he prefers to talk later when he is more available and rested.

Does this answer your question?

anita

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