Dear Lily:

“hopefully I am making progress”- I know you are making progress!

“My boss called and said that I could probably come back to work in about two weeks”- how exciting, later in May then. I hope so.

“I have also used this free time pretty o.k”- it is important to you to make an okay use of your time, so keep making an okay use of your time. Notice I didn’t suggest that you make a perfect or excellent use of your time: an okay use of your time is good enough.

“I have worked on my routine”- keep doing that, like the above, it builds your confidence in yourself.

I can almost taste your fish on a bed of nettles with a slice of your home made bread: delicious!

An herb sketchbook reads like a good idea.

“I am still in the habit of trying to please others”- be selective as to who you are trying to please and how, and see to it that pleasing others does not harm you. Pleasing others selectively and wisely is not a bad thing.

About your previously critical and … well, unloving mother now “I love you” to her messages and phone calls,  following her therapy, you wrote: “I say it back but I always feel a little awkward and uneasy.. uneasy and overwhelmed. How to reply back? Should I now say also positive things about her back? Do I have to write ‘I love you’ when it feels somewhat unnatural to me?”

My answer: don’t write or tell her that you love her (do not reciprocate her “I love you-s). Instead, write her in a message or tell her on the phone that you appreciate her good intent in telling you that she loves you, but (choose your words on the following):  you prefer that she doesn’t because it makes you feel uncomfortable. And it makes you uncomfortable to say loving words in return. You can tell her that you wish you didn’t feel this way, but you do, and there is nothing you can do about how you feel.

“She is a loving person”- then she will respond to you empathetically, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable.

“Tomorrow is my LAD”-  what is LAD?

Your goals for tomorrow are to get a prescription from a doctor (what kind of prescription, if you want to share?), and to clear out a drawer- yes, the “life admin day” you mentioned earlier (calling regarding the two online purchases can be part of life admin day, do you think?), prepare an advertisement for a new roommate with your other roommate who is not moving, and writing a thank you note to a former mentor (how kind!).

Your friend does sound very busy, way too busy if she fell asleep while undressing!

And we do live in the same latitude. I live in the US, not a long drive south of Canada. Lots of rain here too.

anita