Dear Lisa:

My childhood suffering expressed itself as a lot of suspicion and anger at other people. The people I met as an adult, some were terrible people, not all were. The people who were not terrible people- at the time, I couldn’t tell they were not bad people (I thought everyone was bad people), so I treated them as if they were bad people.

Looking back, I figure I hurt some good people I thought were bad, but in their experience- I was the bad person. I hope I am not confusing you as I type away what I think without editing.

Expressed again: there were people in my adult life who were bad people, but some were good people, but I wasn’t able to distinguish between bad people and good people. In my mind- everyone was bad people. And in reality: to the good people, I was the bad person.

“What do you do when your suffering makes you hated even more?”- Now, I will answer this question this way: I figure out if my past suffering is expressing itself now as mistreating good people.

anita