Hi Anita, thanks again for your extended reply. There’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying.

I’m not sure if your last question was meant in a rhetorical way, but my motivation is that I used to date her 10 years ago, and I’ve seen how traumatised she was from the abusive relationship she was in before we met. She sees me as a person she can trust, I also know her background and other things from her past, and she reaches out to me whenever she’s having a hard time. Including her relationship struggles. And when she’s feeling low she sometimes hints at us meeting again, because when we were together it was “always fun”. Regardless if that would be a good idea or if I would consider it, it would never get to that point anyway because a few weeks (days) later she’s back with her boyfriend.

It would be very sad if she’s entangled in another abusive relationship again, and I do perhaps feel a bit responsible to find out as she doesn’t have a lot of close friends. I’m not pursuing another relationship with her or to ‘get her back’, I’m just worried as the longer this goes on the more I get a bad taste in my mouth. But I’m not sure what role I could have in this, if there’s any at all.

She’s a good person with a lot of baggage.

Does this answer make you see things differently?