Dear Rod:

This is what you wrote about your wife on this thread: “My wife could sleep through a nuclear blast”, and on your previous thread, nine months ago (Aug 2019): “I do not have anyone that I can speak to about anything. My wife would over react and place me in an emotional restraining hold and make unrealistic demands… I have no one to share my deepest, darkest thoughts .. who will not judge me or think I am crazy”.

This was your mental state Aug 2019: “I have a peace and a calm about dying.. I am waiting for the time to come. I feel so weary physically, spiritually, and mentally. I am ready to let go of this world and move on.. I cannot see the sunny side of life any more… There are many issues that are weighing me down and I do not have the time or energy to say it all”. Fast forward, you add a foster baby to your life, you cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for four foster children, clean, do other chores at home and in the yard, mow the lawn, feed the dogs, and you  home school three the children,  and then you leave for a second shift at work.

My advice: Separate from your wife and simplify your life: live on your own (no children to take care of, no wife who sleeps through nuclear blasts such as that which goes on in your mind and heart, no chores), a life that’s not as bad, and maybe better, maybe way better.

anita

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