May 18, 2020 at 5:57 pm #355832
My wife and I are foster parents of 4 children ages 11 yrs, 8 yrs, 3 yrs, and a 6 month old. I work second shift. I get to bed usually around 2 am. I am up at 4 am to help fed the baby (I make the bottle and my wife feeds the baby), I go back to bed until 8 am. My wife and the kids are usually still asleep. I take this time because it is the only quiet time I get. But, I find it difficult to get moving in the morning. It is hard to get out of bed. It usually takes 2 cups of coffee and my vape to start to feel alive again. I get about 30 minutes of my quiet time before the kids wake up. My wife is tending to the baby. She keeps him asleep for as long as possible. Then, my day starts. I cook breakfast, teach school (thanks covid-19), clean up the kitchen, start getting lunch and dinner ready. In between all of this I fit in other chores and projects like finishing building a chicken coop, mowing the lawn, feeding the dogs, etc.. The kids help out with laundry and some of the cooking. Then, its off to work. I feel stretched. I don’t mind doing all of this, but any good sleep is interrupted by the baby or a different issue with one of the foster kids. I need to know how to get my energy back in the morning so that I can feel refreshed and energized for my day. Any advice would be wonderful. Thank youMay 18, 2020 at 7:08 pm #355842
I don’t think this is a motivation issue. It’s a sleep deprivation issue. I have 3 kids and know about feeding babies at 4am. I strongly suggest that you stop getting up to help your wife feed the baby. I did the 4am feedings alone not because my husband didn’t want to help me but because he had to be at work at a stressful job at 8am the following morning. You need to be able to sleep from 2-8am with no interruptions, and then you need to have time on the weekends to make up for the sleep you’re not getting during the week. I hope you’re able to talk to your wife about this. Sleep deprivation leads to health issues including depression. Take care of yourself.
Making a bottle is easy. One arm is used to hold the fussy/hungry/precious baby; the other arm is used to make the bottle. Slam dunk.
BMay 18, 2020 at 8:36 pm #355846
Thank you for the feedback. I agree with you. I have talked to my wife about this issue. The baby sleeps in a crib in our bedroom and when he cries I am the first to hear him. My wife could sleep through a nuclear blast. I am going to be awake anyway so I make the bottle. I am not a very deep sleeper at all. It must be a habit leftover from my time in the army. The hard part is getting moving. Once that happens I’m good. I don’t know. I’ll get it figured out.
RodMay 18, 2020 at 10:20 pm #355880
You are welcome. It’s hard being tired, I know. At 6 months, your baby will be sleeping through the night soon. I would talk to your pediatrician for advice on how to make this happen sooner rather than later. Bedtime plays a part in this. Also, hunger isn’t the only reason babies wake up at night; they need to be able to learn to comfort themselves and fall back to sleep on their own when they aren’t hungry. Your pediatrician should explain all of this to you.
It’s much easier to get moving each morning when you’re well rested and that’s not happening for you. I hope it happens soon.
BMay 19, 2020 at 6:12 am #355904
This is what you wrote about your wife on this thread: “My wife could sleep through a nuclear blast”, and on your previous thread, nine months ago (Aug 2019): “I do not have anyone that I can speak to about anything. My wife would over react and place me in an emotional restraining hold and make unrealistic demands… I have no one to share my deepest, darkest thoughts .. who will not judge me or think I am crazy”.
This was your mental state Aug 2019: “I have a peace and a calm about dying.. I am waiting for the time to come. I feel so weary physically, spiritually, and mentally. I am ready to let go of this world and move on.. I cannot see the sunny side of life any more… There are many issues that are weighing me down and I do not have the time or energy to say it all”. Fast forward, you add a foster baby to your life, you cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for four foster children, clean, do other chores at home and in the yard, mow the lawn, feed the dogs, and you home school three the children, and then you leave for a second shift at work.
My advice: Separate from your wife and simplify your life: live on your own (no children to take care of, no wife who sleeps through nuclear blasts such as that which goes on in your mind and heart, no chores), a life that’s not as bad, and maybe better, maybe way better.
May 20, 2020 at 3:04 pm #356168
- This reply was modified 5 months ago by anita.
I was not in a very good place 9 months ago. My wife and I have since worked things out. Bravo on your diligence with your website. All I was asking for was how to generate more energy in the morning from someone who has a busy life. I am happy to do this work, and yes I get little sleep and I work hard. I was not complaining. I was explaining my circumstances to garner some advice on how to energize myself in the morning. I am sorry this post went in the wrong direction. I thank you for your willingness to share and give advice. All is good now on the home front.
RodMay 20, 2020 at 3:48 pm #356172
You are welcome and thank you for the bravo comment. Correction: this website is no more my website than it is yours.
“how to energizer myself in the morning”- coffee, that’s all I can think of, given your schedule. You definitely are a hard worker and your schedule is very full!
anitaMay 20, 2020 at 4:56 pm #356176
Coffee it is…since I am doing that already. I am going to try some morning meditation with some more up beat meditation music. I found some I like on Yellow Brick Cinema. I will see how that goes.
You do keep tabs on “our” website…lol. You work hard too. Do you respond to every post in the forum? Every post I have read, you replied at least once. That must take some time. I appreciate your advice and I am sure that all the others do so as well.
RodMay 20, 2020 at 5:28 pm #356188
I am a big coffee fan. Morning Meditation (MM) reads like a good idea to me. I’ll call it Coffee and M&M morning strategy for you.
And yes, I am very active here, daily, for over five years. I don’t like the idea of anyone reaching out for advice/ help, and not being answered. So I answer. Thank you very much for your appreciation and kind words: I appreciate you for your kindness!
anitaMay 21, 2020 at 12:01 pm #356296siaParticipant
I am a medical doctor.. I wanted to offer my two cents.. regarding energy during mornings hours.
Sometimes, taking care of everything and everyone around us, we tend to postpone self care. I want you to check whether you drink enough water during the day, have wholesome food with vegetables, greens, nuts and fruits in your diet.. do you maintain adequate amount of protein in diet? How are your appetite, bowel and bladder habits? Are you having rapid changes in weight? Do you experience any soreness in the spine, joints, etc. When was the last time your medical checkup including blood pressure was checked?
I wanted to suggest to look for low levels of hemoglobin, vitamin d, vitamin b12, thyroid levels.. which can be corrected easily by medication or life style modifications.
Please take good care of your health, by maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Good luck.May 21, 2020 at 3:09 pm #356330
Thank you for the two cents…I drink plenty of water and eat well. Eat plenty of vegetables, greens, etc. I really enjoy eating salads. My diet is very diverse. I get plenty of protein. I east 1 to 2 eggs a day. (one of my favorite foods) I eat chicken, beef, pork, and fish. I do not eat a lot of sweets. My weight is steady. It may fluctuate 3-5 pounds if I am working extra hard. Appetite, bowel and bladder habits are normal. I do how ever experience muscle soreness and stiffness, but that is due to the outdoor work I do. I will adapt to the work as spring and summer goes on. I take an occasional b-12, but not for awhile. I sleep really good when I do sleep. My sleep is interrupted though. My wife and I are working on accommodating that. I have always been a light sleeper. I have not had a check up in a long while. I take my BP at home and it is in the normal range. I live a life of all things in moderation. Other than being a little over weight, I am good. Now that I can get out and do things I am working on that too. I just turned 54 and I feel pretty good about myself. Thank you again for caring to respond. I appreciate your interest. I hope you have a great day!!
RodMay 22, 2020 at 8:06 pm #356458RaviParticipant
Suggest you to do ‘Prana mudra’ a simple mudra (hand gesture) that benefits in increasing the prana (energy) in the body.
Looking at the images can show how it is done with three fingers rather than I explaining here.
Sure it is bound to increase the flow of energy in the body.
tc.May 26, 2020 at 3:23 pm #356935
Thank you everyone for your kind advice. My wife and I have come up with a plan to delegate some of the “chores” I do to the older kids. This has really lightened my load and I am getting much better rest so that I can focus more on the outdoor work. Baby boy is sleeping through the night and things are coming together. Again I thank all of you for the wonderful advice.
RodMay 26, 2020 at 3:35 pm #356938
You are welcome, Rod. I hope the other members who replied to you read your update as well. Good to read that you and your wife came up with effective problem solving, and that your baby has been sleeping through the night and that you are getting much better rest.
anitaMay 27, 2020 at 7:59 am #356981
You’re welcome, Rod, and thanks for the update. Glad you are feeling better. -B