Hello. I didn’t end up messaging him after that. I decided it was best to not drag it out longer than it needed to be and give him space as he requested it. If I kept messaging, he would respond and it wouldn’t be right, as I would be seen as too available and needy. I didn’t want to be a bother to him so I decided this was the best choice, to do no contact. I didn’t ask him if he wanted to, for how long etc. I decided it was best to let go of the conversation there and try to move forward by healing.
You are right. I am argumentative, wanting things, impulsive and impatient as well. I look for my own needs before anyone else. During this break I can figure out how I can manage those qualities. As you said, whether it’s with him or with anyone, I can’t build a relationship unless I improve these qualities.
Yesterday we went all day without no contact. I posted on my SnapChat story late last night and he was the first to view them, a minute after I posted. He even swiped up on the story and put laughing emojis. I didn’t respond.
I was very sad yesterday and I am this morning too, but here’s the thing I remembered when I was doing chores in the house late last night:
-On May 5th, he asked me about a school question and triple texted me. I was asleep, responded when I woke up. He called me immediately. He even told me I looked so beautiful and that he couldn’t believe I was his. He said after this outbreak is over, he can’t wait to see me.
-On May 10, he told me he would work things out with me and have our communication at 10 and call me everyday and we’ll work things out. He wanted us to have an amazing summer, use this summer to work together to improve ourselves with each other, and he wanted to start the day by hearing my voice.
-Almost a week ago, I had gotten my period and was having horrible cramps. He asked me if he could drop off flowers and ice cream… I declined politely because there was a family issue I had to deal with at home during that time. He understood.
-4/5 days ago, he went out late at night to get some food. He texted me “I wish u were here in the car with me.” (Because we always went for long drives and accompanied each other when we had the chance to hang out)

So while I am giving his space, I come to think of these things he had mentioned to me earlier this month. So he might be patient and honest to you, but I do not believe so because he is all over the place. Telling me we will make things work and then being stuck in the middle again.

However, I do not blame him because fighting can be draining and his mental health is at stake. His mind is all over the place and I have to be mindful of that. It doesn’t help that he’s constantly overworking himself and being tired because of this new business. And when he does that, he can’t think properly which makes him more confused. I hope that makes sense.
This is how I see it though: It’s a lot of confusion which is why I decided to not mention anything to him and just let him be. He asked for space and time, so I will respectfully give it even though I may not agree with it, it’s what he needs and tbh what I need so that way I don’t make the same mistakes as I did previously.
If he wants to contact me because he misses me or wants to talk, or whatever the reason is, he may. He has my number and all my social profiles.
As hurt as I am, I’m very confused. As much as I would like to be with this man, it hurts to me that in a few days he’ll probably change his mind. I’m not sure. But I’ll leave it at that for now. I’m just going to take this time for myself and improve qualities that I know aren’t healthy, so that way it can benefit me and the people I surround myself with later on.