Dear gamer:

“I decided this was the best choice, to  do no contact. I didn’t ask him if he wanted to.. I decided it was best”-  I am so glad that you made the decision yourself, and that you chose wisely!

I think that he is doing wrong to swipe up your story and add emojis to it. He has been unwise all along to suggest a break with contact. This is the part where he didn’t show sensibility or wisdom. A break means no  contact by definition!

If I was you, I would send him just this one short message: that you decided to go no contact for a while, for however long it takes for you to heal and learn from this experience. Let him know that the no-contact starts from the time you send the message and ask him to please respect your decision and not contact you till you notify him it is okay to  contact you.

Once you do  that, you will have an opportunity to learn more about him (it will  be an opportunity for me too, to learn about him if you let me know over time if he indeed respects your decision, or not).

You wrote that on May 5 (two weeks ago) he told you that you looked so beautiful.. that he can’t wait to  see you. On May 10 (9 days ago) he told you that he’ll call you every day, wanting to have an amazing summer with you, “to work together to improve.. with each other”. A few days later he offered to drop you flowers and ice cream. A couple of days later, at night, he texted you that he wishes you were in the car with him.

“he might be patient and honest to you, but I do not believe so because he is all over the place”- notice the first sentence I wrote to you in my yesterday post was: “So far, according to the conversations you posted, he seems to be exceptionally honest, logical”, etc.-

According to the conversations you posted he seemed to be these things, and I agree with you: all together he is not consistent: indeed, “His mind is all over the place”. The fact that he lives with his mother with whom he has a troubled relationship, and that he overworks, and the pandemic etc.. all these add to his stress level and being all over the place.

Thing is, just because his mind is all over the place, does not mean that your mind  need to follow him all  over the place. This is why it is so  important that you do send him the no-contact message (a non-negotiable message, not open to discussion), and then carry on the no contact.

“If he wants to contact me.. he may”- bad idea, this is not part of the no contact you said you decided on at the beginning of  your recent post. The logic is simple: he wants a break. A break means no contact. it is illogical of him to want a break and contact at the same time.

anita

• This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by .