Yes I heard him when he said he wasn’t available for a relationship, and I knew his persistence the first night was a red flag. He wanted to see me again so at that time I hoped that we’d be hooking up for some time more and I’d be happy with him being around and the intimacy, and then we’d see how it went.  While he was away, he showed interest for a while as well, so I don’t think I acted like the overly attached type.Being apart was extended by lockdown, then time passed and he lost interest, I didn’t. Then I overdid it. Not exactly overdid it with my reactions to him, but to myself mostly. Letting myself daydreaming about him and feeling anxious, things like that. Not treating the story light heartedly as it deserved

I get that even if we continued to date, it would still be a dead end. But also you never know, I wanted to give it a try because I don’t get attracted to men that often. I was unlucky with the timing, not being able to spend more than 2 nights together.

Do I sound ridiculous?

Maybe I’m overthinking about simple flings you might think. I am trying to understand myself in relationships and be more flexible with men and my emotions.

Yesterday I stopped following all his social media and deleted him from my followers as well. I still check him out but it will fade away eventually. I have no other chance.