Dear Charlotte:

It is interesting that his aunt talked to you about giving him another opportunity, Feb, I think (“she spoke to me and asked me to give him the opportunity to explain himself, saying that we were young and the relationship had just started.. she just convinced me”), and in April, his mother called you for the same purpose (“his mother called me because he had an episode of anxiety.. he took a lot of pills with alcohol and ended up in the hospital”).

This feels suspicious to  me, that his aunt and his mother are involved in his life this way.

The title of your thread is “Bpd and trusting bf”- after reading your original post I don’t see the issue as your BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I see the issue as you being in love with a young man who is not an honest or decent man.

If you follow his aunt’s advice and give him yet another and another opportunity, what you are giving him is .. yet another opportunity to show you that he is dishonest and indecent. And if his mother calls you again with a story of him taking pills etc., I wouldn’t give in to that dishonest manipulation (I think that the story is either partially or completely a lie).

Your BPD diagnosis may be relevant in other relationships, but in the context of this relationship, it is not relevant because your lack of trust in him is about his behavior.

anita

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