Dear Lily:

“Regarding the laundry: I doubt that the detergent destroyed the machine”- I wasn’t aware from reading your previous post earlier that the laundry machine was destroyed! I was making a point in general, when using public/ communal property, ex., a laundry machine, a dish washer, a kitchen oven- to use these machines in the usual, accepted way. I bet the home made soap you prepared was fine and dandy, it’s just that .. like you said, it is not a good idea to experiment when it comes to using public/ communal property.

“It is probably best to reduce my efforts in the community rooms”- I am not sure I understand what you mean by this.

“I only overheard snippet.. don’t know the context”- it is wonderful that you don’t do what many others do (and I did it quite often) which is to make assumptions with no evidence and jump to conclusions. Your thinking is reasonable!

I am glad to read that you “like doing these ‘weird’ things, like foraging, wearing colorful clothes.. I want to do more of those things that interest me without shame”!

Regarding your therapist, you wrote: “next time I see her, I will.. question her about what she meant”- excellent, this is your reasonable thinking again. You are not making unchecked assumptions about what she meant. Instead you will check with her, you will gather evidence (the answer that she will give you).

And: “Overall I respect her opinion and feel that she is able to help me. Most of the time I feel understood by her. She seems to really care”- all these things that you wrote her read true to me. Long ago, while communicating with you, I thought to myself that her good work with you is evident in your progress!

“I wonder if she ever experienced what it is like to be bullied or abused?”- hardly anyone, if anyone, goes through life not experiencing being bullied or otherwise abused. You can ask her this question, it’s a fair question to ask one’s therapist, seems to me.

You worrying about the tap of the laundry and about your therapist looking angry, these are very similar worries to worries you had in the past, probably no basis in reality to these worries. Like you wrote, you didn’t do anything out of the ordinary to the tap. It probably broke because of a lot of use over time. Regarding your therapist’s changing facial expression: you fear people being angry at you, so you were quick to perceive her expression as anger. She probably wasn’t, probably had a serious thought on her mind, that’s all.

Regarding your roommate seeming to feel happy about you visiting your family- maybe she was, everyone likes to have alone time once in a while, even when it comes to people one likes very much!

“I often take things way too personally.. a bit self-centered of me”-  when you think, for example, that a person is angry at you, and it is not true, then you don’t get to find out who the  person really is angry at, or if the person is angry at all. In other words, when you look at a person but keep seeing what you fear; you don’t get to see the person you are looking at.

“trying to understand others’ motives.. I can ask them directly. Then I will be able to understand the situation better. Or if this is not possible, I should remind myself that I sometimes misinterpret situations and make a big problem  out of nothing. Better then to somehow calm my thoughts down and distract myself”- so very well said, I couldn’t have stated it better.

You are welcome, Lily, hope you are having a good night!

anita