Hi anita,

Thanks once again for your amazing reply.

I do see the similarities between my relationship with my dad and my relationship with boyfriends. I operate in the same way building on the principle that by  being an independent woman it will damage my relationship with them, therefore giving them a lot of control and power as to appease the situation, even when this is not even something they required from me at all. This is something I have to do differently in the future, and that is why I think it is important for me to fully focus on myself for a while until I reach a point where I feel  in control of my own life, not giving any men stakes in it, including my dad.

I want to find a way to do things differently with men, I want to find a way to let go of co-dependence, thrive and seek only approval from within. Only when I feel complete by myself can I invite someone else into my life. I guess the next step for me is to figure out what I want for myself, tho I must admit it is extremely hard for me not to have a guy in my life. I tend to overlap relationships just to make sure I have someone and I feel rather naked and vulnerable now that I don’t have a guy. Today alone I have thought about writing to a guy a couple of times, even if just for a bit of attention. I want to feel strong and fulfilled by myself.

Do you have advice on how to start this process?

Love, sam