Dear SearchForSelfPeace:

“my mental peace is disturbed regularly.. I always feel that others are not being just with me.. My behavior is capricious.. my fluctuating behavior.. How can I improve my behavior? Can you please share what was your journey on being more accepting?”

I am not very focused this afternoon (my time), so I will be back to your thread later, but for now I would say, your search for self peace is what I searched for many years and found and keep finding: it is a gradual, slow process. You can find it too, more and more of it. How I wish it was quick and wonderful event instead of a slow and gradual process, but real life is different than what we imagine.

I used to see everyone as superior to me, as if they had something I didn’t have and if only they like me, maybe they will give me that something… but this was not reality: all those people I thought were superior to me- were not. Once you see people as they are, you will not envy them anymore, or be angry at them, you will realize they are not in much better shape than you are.

That Quora post you mentioned on page 1, which says in part: “You feel unloved and unwanted.. Because you are searching for love in the wrong places. You are knocking at the wrong door. No matter how hard you try, it will not open”- all the doors were wrong for me because I expected super humans to open those door for me, but instead the people who opened doors for me were either too weak to help me or too cruel to not take advantage of the weakness that led me to their doors.

If you are reading this before I am back to the computer (in about 13 hours), and it makes some sense to you, please let me know what it is that resonates with you, and what does not.

anita