Hi angel,

I echo Inky’s sentiments here.

I’ve been in a (somewhat) similar situation where I rejected someone I later fell for, and then he rejected me.

Cue several months of me desperately trying to woo him back (a flip of our previous dynamic).

It never really worked and in any case, we should want someone who really wants us, who we don’t have to chase like this.

The way to let go is, I think, to simply make the decision and do it.

It’s tough. I’m coming up on the one year “anniversary” of our getting together and he’s been on my mind. But, what I am romanticizing is the fantasy of him I built for myself, not the actual him. That kind of pressure to perform isn’t particularly fair to either of us.

Honestly, this guy is likely not worth the heartbreak. It’s clear you were really chewed up about stuff and had you been able to talk it out sooner it could have provided some modicum of closure. But, in reality you will never get closure from the one that hurt you.

Some people are meant to be in our lives for only a little while, to teach us some lessons if you like, and then to drift away. It’s true of course that when there’s more drama or emotion attached to the relationship it’s harder to let go. But you must.

These are things I have to remind myself frequently. I think it’s probably a more pervasive feeling than we realize!

LW