Home from work now. Here, what I will do is tell her the truth when we hang out in July, it will just be me and her hanging out for 2-3 hours and at the end when we are about to leave I will tell her that I did not want anyone to forget her so I brought people to her restaurant job but truth was I did not wanna forget her. About that day in the summer when we connected it left a powerful effect on me and I still think of that day and that summer we got really really close like I have never felt a closeness to someone before and we slowed down after a few months then picked it up again in that October and how awesome I felt talking to someone on the phone and it felt like you really really liked talking to me and were sad that night we didn’t after your dance class you taught when I was tired and that trip for your advancement when we had that moment together at the end of the phone call when I told you to call me anytime for good/bad news, just because, etc and I still mean it to this day and I was going to tell you my feelings a long time ago before your guy but someone at work told me you got a lot going on in your life and only connection to the old job and you really need a friend so I sucked it up and was going to eventually tell you but never did and it’s going to be a huge regret in my life even if you didn’t feel the same way, I would have atleast told you that I loved you since pretty much the beginning. When we hung out for our first hike and saw you put makeup on after texting you I was near I thought “maybe she does like me???”, and the phone call when you told me we are always going to be together getting through everything together and when you wanted to see me when I  went to a life coach and to call you after to know how it went.

You’re special to me and always will be and I am not trying to say this to you to try and steal you from your guy, I would never do that to anyone nor do I want you or him to hate me, nor me hate either of you, he makes you happy and that’s all that really matters in the end, I really miss the old days when we would text in the morning for a few minutes, it got me through some really tough times and even in those minutes it brought big joy to my day and now you know why I wanna see you more then 1-2 times a year, I am sure if we saw eachother monthly I will still want more and I hope your guy is kind to you and treats you with loving respect and does not stray you from your path, be at peace together, always. Love eachother, grow together, be happy, be kind, be free and never let  people change you unless it’s the good kind. Thank you for letting me help you in your darkness and teaching me along the way.

I’ll let you go now, I dunno how things will change between us now but at least I got my truth out, and now you know what’s been eating me alive. I’ll let you think about if you still want to remain friends and give you until August 1st, if I don’t hear back from you by then you wont hear from me again but I will wish you well on your life journey and would understand why you don’t wanna keep communicating.