Hi Guthries,

I hope you are feeling  abit better now from when you posted and the intensity of that feeling as passed somewhat.

I can understand, from my experiences in my own life, how things you dont like e.g. loneliness can last longer than you think or would like it to and you just want to hope for an end.

My advice would be “life is what you make it” and so can you list and/or do 3 things that would make your evening sitting in your home every evening better? E.g. is that skyping your family or signing up for volunteering once lockdown is over, or following a new recipe for food, or committing to an online exercise class or reading a good book etc etc. I know all these things are cliches and also only little things and loneliness is so big, but I have learned from experience getting excited about the little things is literally all there is (aside from the occasional big exciting thing).

Maybe you could also go on a walk at night or camp outside or something? Basically anything that is out of the ordinary that would make you feel abit less in a rut and a bit more open to new possibilities.

As for friends, its absolutely okay to just have a few friends. It sounds like you did the right thing by yourself to stay away from your previous friend..  but equally if you feel like you want to reconcile it’s up to you-i would say follow your heart with that, and either way is right.

I would also say everyone is lonely. Deep down in their hearts. You don’t have to live alone to be lonely. I often feel lonely every single day and I live with a boyfriend and a dog and have friends and family. Yet still I feel lonely. So it’s just how it is for most people I think and some people who dont seem lonely maybe are just better at pushing the feeling away. When I feel lonely I tend to read books about loneliness -Murakami books are good as he understands loneliness well or listen to music -thats maybe not the best approach as I do end up feeling more lonely but it reminds me others in time have felt like I do now. Or another option is getting outside for a long walk in whatever weather and that act of getting outside can refresh your mind.

My questions to you are: 1) do you regularly exercise and get outside if you can do? 2) do you have any family you could talk to about how you feel or that friend you mentioned that you are still friends with? 3) are you looking forward to anything, and if not, could you think of anything to look forward to? It doesn’t have to be big, it could just be a nice cup of coffee or watching something good on TV. It’s the little things that keep everything going I think.

I hope you are feeling  abit better now and you are not alone in feeling lonely-I current yl feel lonely and so do thousands of other people. I think it’s a human thing.