Dear Ag:

“I love him so much and it scares me at times”- fear fuels overthinking, sometimes so much so that we obsess, and your obsession is: am I gay?

I am not a gay detector, but I didn’t read a single thing you wrote that suggests to me that you are gay.

You wrote that one thing that scares you is “Being gay”, and the other: “Us constantly fighting and not making solutions while living together”. Constantly fighting is a real danger to a relationship. On the other hand, an attraction to both sexes is not a danger to a relationship:

When a strictly straight woman marries a man, she needs to not give in to her attraction to other people (men) during her marriage. Similarly, a woman attracted to men and women, has to do the same thing: to not give in to her attraction to other people (men and women) during her marriage.

I personally know of a young woman who identifies herself as a pansexual (not limited in sexual choice with regard to gender) who married a man and stated clearly that she believes in monogamy and will be faithful to her husband.

anita

* PD, Bre, Jin and Shahdra: I just noticed you posted here in April this year. If any of you is still following this thread, please post again: I would like to communicate with you further.