Dear lannawannabe:

“any advice as to desensitizing those things that remind me of him, or are associated with him? How can I not feel so horrible every time I inevitably run into one another?”- I suggest desensitizing his image in your brain. Your fantasy image of him is such that warrants all your time and attention, leading you to think that it matters what he thinks about you, and what he might think about you in the future (“I guess what he thought.. he didn’t seem to think..”)

It will heal you to see him as he truly is. Let’s bridge the visible with the invisible so to create a desensitizing imagery exercise for you: his character is as beautiful as… a very ugly man. Picture in your mind the ugliest man you can imagine. Don’t describe that image here on your post, keep it for yourself: whatever is the ugliest physical image of a man, picture it.

Next, every time you think of him, bring that image to your attention and keep that image in your mind for a while, while taking slow, easy breaths. Every time you see something that reminds you of him, do the same thing.

“it makes me feel lame, I guess, for expecting.. to be treated with some respect”- expecting to be treated with some respect by a “Total jerk.. selfish and downright rude” person is unrealistic, it is like expecting a rock to feel like soft cotton to the touch.

anita