Hi Iannawannabe,

This might sound either too abstract, or too analytical, or too cliche, depending of the reader, but I work with people and I see over and over again how both the sense of inadequacy, and the sense of abandonment after break up, and even the triggers to fall in love, are almost always subtly related to what we experienced in our early family.

Does your idealized image of him, what you desired from him, and subsequent disappointment, resemble your early relationship with any of your parents? Can you track your feelings of inadequacy to anything you felt in your family? It’s often not obvious at the first glance, but in my experience, whenever an emotion is unrealistic or too intense, it usually comes from the past, not the present. It might take a bit of digging to recognize what it is about it, but it might be worth it.

Best,
K