Dear lannawannabe:

You are welcome to post anytime, at any length. And at any time you post just so to vent, so to express yourself, not wanting advice or any input at all (“It’s a diary of sorts for me”), say so in your post, and I will not respond to any post where you state so. Also, whenever I ask you a question that you don’t feel like answering, don’t answer (it is fine with me).

You wrote that you realize that this relationship was more an “in my own head” relationship, and it makes you sad that it was, and that it is still happening.. in your head, or as you said (and I didn’t have to guess, because you said it yourself), you have a tendency to ruminate. You wrote that you want “to learn to move beyond that”.

You asked: “How can I forgive myself behaving very foolishly over this person and just let go?”- as a person who used to ruminate a lot myself, I’d say that you can’t “just let go”, no matter how much you want to just let go and be done with this relationship happening in your head.

“To learn to move beyond that” reads possible to me, because I have done that myself, moved beyond being stuck in my own head. I did it, over time and practice by figuratively taking an elevator down from my head to my body, bringing my focus from the mental to the physical. I did it in yoga, in tai chi, in following guided meditations, in doing mindfulness exercises.

It takes persistent practice over a long time, and before you know it (months from now), you’ll notice a significant change for the better.

Does this make sense to you?

anita