Dear lannawannabe:

I will tell you of my impression of you: I think that you are very intelligent and you write well. There is absolutely nothing inadequate about your IQ, in my humble opinion. The problem as I see it, is that you think too fast and you don’t stay anywhere (in your thinking) long enough to process information and the feelings  involved.

You want to solve your problems in life, I know. You want to feel better, I understand. Problem is you cannot solve the problems that need to be solved thinking as fast as you  do: it’s like you are all over the place and nowhere in particular. Too scattered, at least when it comes to the topics we are discussing here, on your thread.

There is a Buddhist term called the monkey mind (buddhisma2z. com): “The monkey mind is a term sometimes used by the Buddha to describe the agitated, easily distracted and incessantly moving behavior of ordinary human consciousness.. ‘Just as a monkey swinging through the trees grabs one branch and lets it go only to seize another, so too, that which is called thought, mind, or consciousness arises and disappears continually both day and night”.

To function adequately in life, you have to mentally slow down/ discipline that monkey mind. Your hope is in slowing down and it is possible for you to slow down through a daily practice of some of the things I suggested to you earlier. You are welcome to post here anytime, of course, at any length, but the real work you need to do, the difficult but life changing work is in what I  call a Mindfulness Daily Practice Plan (MDPP, I like acronyms).

anita