Hello to all of you!

Harshita, Cloudyair, Amber, Donna & JSquirrel

I thank all of you for your kind words, for support and for giving me part of your time to respond! It means a lot.

And it is all getting better!

I am shocked that I wrote this in April … that is only 3 months! And now? My lord, it’s better than ever before. So that I don’t bore all of you here to death, I will cut it short.

Alright, so this was me: No purpose, no dreams, no desires. Just emptiness and depression.

• • • • • No purpose? Not anymore. I found out that the only right that we all have is to make our life enjoyable. Nothing else. Just this one. Yeah yeah … right … but think about it. We as a species of living animals (I am sorry to the ones of you who are religious, but I mean this from an evolutionary standpoint. No intention to offend you.), have gone a long way. And every living thing does what it can to meet its needs, and if it is beneficial or enjoyable it devotes to it a little more than it needs. Because why not feel better than I should, right? And the same works for humans. Everything we are doing we do for a good feeling.  To feel good. And that is my purpose.
        • No dreams? Well, that is unfortunately still the same.
        • No desires? How could I even say that? Because I could have said something along the lines of: I long to not have depression, I long to be happy, I long to be out of this state (status quo)… And now? I long to find myself. It is still a long way to go, but at least I know the direction. Know thyself.
        • Just emptiness? Certainly not now!
        • Just depression? Depression is gone. Well… maybe it isn’t 100% gone but I can surely say that I feel ten times better. The medication worked, but what helped me a lot was cognitive psychology. And also the support from my friends and family, my trainer, school teachers, total strangers on the internet and the list of kind hearths goes on.

So that is it. I am way better. I can manage my own from now on. It is really weird because depression eats you alive, and you just suffer in pain. You are stuck. You don’t see any way out of it. And now? I am just shocked by how strong emotions can be.

I would love to help all of you, but I am scared to dig into this topic because I want to be sure I am out of it for good.

Once again thank you all for everything. I wish you all the best you can have, and even what you can’t imagine! I hope you are doing great and if not, I really wish, pray for you and hope so it gets better! Love you all. 🙂