Hi Marce,

This was the story of my life: Making nice with the extended family for my children.

There is a Buddhist saying: Seek Sanctuary in Politeness. If a stranger was rude to you, you wouldn’t engage, would you? Of course not! You’d think, “Well that one is an odd duck,” and smile politely with a thousand yard stare.

With your family be Open and Formal. Don’t get into it with them. Go to all the holidays and events. Once a year or so  unapologetically be unavailable. My family howled the first time I dared go on vacation during Christmas. But then they got over it because I was tacitly giving everyone else permission to take a break and do the same.

Best,

Inky