Dear Carol:

We discussed asking a man questions in your first thread. I wrote to you there that it is your right, in the context of dating, to have the information that you need about the man’s motivations and plans. You did well asking this man the questions you asked him. The key is to really listen to his answers, to not keep asking the same question repeatedly in the hope of getting a different answer, and to not pressure the him to answer any of your questions in a particular way. It is about asking questions so to get the information that you need.

He gave you some answers, as I read your recent post: he is not considering, nor is he planning to live with you and your daughter, or to marry you, and/ or having children with you. Maybe he will consider it in the future, but he hasn’t considered it so far.

Him buying an apartment too small for you and your daughter to live in, and planning to live there for the next ten years indicates to me that .. he didn’t consider yet the things  I mentioned above. What you want is not in his plans.

If you agree, what are you going to do about it?

anita