Hi. This is all very helpful. I am trying to let go and having trouble. My husband of 20 years has decided he no longer loves me and wants to end our marriage after he has decided the things he fell in love with, drive him nuts. We are in our 50s.  He was a family man, best partner for last 17 years. We have been disconnected for a while and I missed things along the way. There are missing variables and I feel I will find them out in time(mid life crisis/wants a new relationship)? He had a recent career loss and we have been in counseling for a year. He feels he has tried everything and is ready to move on(says we are not fixable). I feel like he quit us, but if he doesn’t love and appreciate me s a partner should(and feels like i cannot change b/c I don’t get it)what can I do? Especially if he thinks he no longer loves me. This blows my mind, it is like a death. Who quits after 20 years???

I finally have accepted this is real, that maybe this is a gift to me. I have kids that are school age and I am just not sure how to get through this. I feel the perspective here may help… any advice is appreciated.