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Rae

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  • #363229
    Rae
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    Hi. Thanks for answering. I guess I would never quit unless there was a foundational issue(abuse/neglect/cheating). To be honest… I do not feel better most days, because we are living together until he moves out. It blows my mind because he was such a steady, wonderful husband until the job loss. He always put us first and is a different person (seems to be on auto pilot). When I reflect on the last few years we were disconnected, I missed things but feel with communication we could get stronger. I would not know where to start but love him enough to try. If I did not have kids with him I would walk away because I feel betrayed by some of the things he has done and how he has treated me. I hope he changes his mind and we can try because we have so much time, money and other things invested. We have been through a lot together to walk away. I’m hoping the perspectives here can help me let go somehow. If he doesn’t want us how do I move on with these feelings and let go?

    Thanks in advance.

    #363111
    Rae
    Participant

    Hi. This is all very helpful. I am trying to let go and having trouble. My husband of 20 years has decided he no longer loves me and wants to end our marriage after he has decided the things he fell in love with, drive him nuts. We are in our 50s.  He was a family man, best partner for last 17 years. We have been disconnected for a while and I missed things along the way. There are missing variables and I feel I will find them out in time(mid life crisis/wants a new relationship)? He had a recent career loss and we have been in counseling for a year. He feels he has tried everything and is ready to move on(says we are not fixable). I feel like he quit us, but if he doesn’t love and appreciate me s a partner should(and feels like i cannot change b/c I don’t get it)what can I do? Especially if he thinks he no longer loves me. This blows my mind, it is like a death. Who quits after 20 years???

    I finally have accepted this is real, that maybe this is a gift to me. I have kids that are school age and I am just not sure how to get through this. I feel the perspective here may help… any advice is appreciated.

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