Hi Ry,

Congratulations on finishing grad school, an impressive accomplishment and one to be very proud of!

The loneliness that inevitably occurs after a break-up is difficult even for those surrounded by a large group of supportive friends and loving family members, but you are in a new and small town with no support system. If there was no lockdown and you were going to work each day, I presume you’d be interacting with co-workers, meeting new people, getting your mind off past relationships, and moving forward, but the pandemic has made that nearly impossible. During this challenging time we all need to take extra good care of ourselves. We need to reach out to others often like you are doing through your telehealth and in-person counseling sessions, but also with friends, family members, coworkers, or through online forums. The more people we can connect with each day, the better. But most important for me is the conversation I have with myself before I get out of bed each morning about how I see my day unfolding. For example, I’ll think… first I’ll exercise (i run and swim), then I’ll do my morning meditation (20 minutes), then I’ll knock off all those things I need to accomplish that day. Seems so simple, right? Well, not really because I know that I’ll also have distressing thoughts throughout the day (regrets, worries, etc.) that will interfere with my progress and leave me feeling bad. So I’ll remind myself that when those thoughts surface, I’ll be ready for them. I’ll take some slow deep breaths and let them pass. Sometimes I’ll need to physically walk outside, feel the sunshine on my face, see the beautiful blue sky, listen to the birds chirping, and I’ll make my way back, outside of my head and in a better place, ready to continue my day. Maybe this is something you could try too, Ry.

B