Dear Ifty:

You are welcome. I understand: you had a spiritual awakening of sorts, feeling more connected and empathetic toward other people, including him. You want to do what’s right by people, improve your behavior so that you don’t harm others- that’s excellent, Ifty, I am thrilled!

“I want to make him feel better so that he realizes I can be a best version of myself”- here is the problem, as I see it: if you try hard to show him that you are the best version of yourself, you will likely expect (and be disappointed) that he doesn’t reciprocate and try to be his best version.

You mentioned before that you are ambitious and he is not: even on spiritual matters, you are likely to be ambitious, but not him. So let’s say you get together with him, do your best, being satisfied with less, with the “simple tastes in everything”, with his unemployment etc., and then.. he makes no changes  in himself- what will that make you feel?

anita