Dear Karene:

Welcome back. You wrote that you are soon to be 39, and you are distressed about the thought of not having a child, a dream of yours. You are very tired, overweight and suffering from adrenal fatigue, that you feel that you missed out on life because of your social anxiety and agoraphobia, and because of your 4 year draining relationship with a schizophrenia, drug addicted man.

You wrote: “I would love some advice on how I could start to turn that around and how I can see my future and so on”. My advice: make the best out of the life that is available  to you. The life that is available to you is being almost 39, overweight, fatigued, anxious, lonely and yet still hopeful, and still alive, in a pandemic world.

What can you do to make a better use of what is available to you? You are able to think, better than your boyfriend is able (you wrote that he is “delusional and cognitively impaired”)- start by making a better use of your non-delusional, non-impaired cognitive abilities by making better choices for yourself.

Regarding children- if I was at the right age,  I wouldn’t bring new life into a pandemic world. Even before the pandemic, I personally, didn’t think the world was good enough to bring new life into it. My position has always been that if I was in a position to raise a child, I will adopt a child who already exists, rather than bring a new one into a harsh, unjust world.

anita