Hi Anita,

I hope this message finds you well. You helped me so much with considerations regarding whether to have a second child or not a few weeks ago. Thank you! I am just wondering if I could ask you a follow up question. I think doubts and insecurities started creeping back in the past few days because of unrelated issues surrounding my own parents, i.e. their emotional distance and non-support, the fact that they continue to support Trump, etc, all of which really confounds and hurts me. I tell you this only because I believe the issues with my relationship with my parents affects my thought process on this 2nd child issue greatly. Some days I desire a future with just my husband and son, so that I have plenty of room for my mental health and other interests of mine. Other days, I find myself envisioning a future with two children so that I have more people in the world who care about me and love me, as I don’t feel like I get that from my parents. Although I wouldn’t consider the latter until after this pandemic settles down, of course!

Anyway, my original question was this: you mentioned that there are both advantages and disadvantages of having siblings. I spent plenty of time googling, and half the studies say only-children are every bit as happy as those with siblings; yet the other half say that those with siblings are happier in the long run. I’m wondering what you see to be the main advantages and disadvantages? I suppose my biggest concern is that if my son is an only, he will grow old with out anyone else closely related to him. He likely won’t have any cousins, at least for a number of years. I would so appreciate your insight as always… thank you!

Charlotte (I chose “Charlie” as my username years ago but really go by Charlotte!)