Hah, Anita. It could all well be true that she is leaving it open ended as to have me consult her again in the future. The thing is that she has not done this in the past. I see her once every 5 years about and in the past she has told me the opposite of what she believed I’d want to hear. It usually rang true in the end.

I went for a long walk in the forest today as I used to do and it was extremely healing. It always helps to mirror what I know inside to be true. I felt some loss and the beginning of letting go. Through walking meditation it did bring up the question of expectations and clinging. I know this may sound silly, but is it possible that I created suffering for me and him through my own clinging to expectations of what should be for us. Is it possible that it wasn’t the situation that was creating suffering, but my own clinging. It’s hard to know if it’s wrong to have the expectations that I do, or if I really need to see them all dissolve to find true peace. My psychic did say this “2021 is also a year for you to work on intuitive development and your own emotional growth. You will generally enjoy ***’s company but the usual fear of getting hurt will dissipate. You will find that you are less intimidated and more willing to be yourself and that is what builds the connection.” I feel that there is a lot of truth in that. That disallowing myself to be authentic is really what was causing a lot of stress for me and the relationship. I just don’t know if there was a way I could’ve stripped down the bare me, but still continued to possibly advance with him.