Dear Joe:

Yes, you cleared my confusion, thank you.

You shared that your father was more warm than your mother, that he had a large family and you visited his mother, your grandmother, a few weekends every month, as a family. I am guessing then, that what led you to not having strong connections with people you dated (“I never feel the strong connection with any one I have dated and I never really commit”) is that you suffered because of the distance your mother enforced between herself and you. All children reach out to their mothers with affection, with an open heart. When she responds with coldness, that is nothing less than her rejection of the child.

I am guessing that her rejection of you caused you to turn inward, minimizing connections with others, in quantity and quality.

In less than 3 weeks you are planning to travel to see this woman and a couple, and you are quite anxious about it. It doesn’t sound like a good idea to me, that you will actualize that plan. For one, the woman doesn’t read as an emotionally healthy woman, and neither are you, as far as relationships are concerned. Add a couple into the mix, and it makes me uncomfortable about the whole prospect.

anita