Hi Lothar,

Funnily enough, I have posted something on another thread relating to this. What you have is regret my friend. Regret for the opportunity you ended up missing with a good woman because you were emotionally immature to handle things in a better way back then. You obviously did not deal with this and suppressed it and it has reared its head now. You are not looking to rekindle a friendship otherwise you wouldn’t be feeling the anxiety attached to rejection, you would be indifferent, as TreenofLane has posted, it was 34 years ago, so whilst your feelings are valid, please have the maturity now at least to handle it in a better way. Trying to reconnect after so long would be seen as alarming not only to her but your wife.  Respect your wife. Leave the past where it belongs and do not invite trouble. Deal with the regret and move on. It can not be retrieved without causing a major tsunami to several people.

Good luck mate!