@Kelli

I don’t have personal experience with ROCD, I have had the experience of being emotionally unavailable which led me to self-sabotage and I was flooded with doubts. Just remember having doubt or anxious feelings is a normal response to change, it usually stems from FEARS sometime that can be abandonment, sometimes that can be related to self-worth, sometimes that can be trauma, etc. So what is it that your lack of relationship with your parents caused you? Which needs were not met? You may be projecting that feeling onto your relationship with men. Maybe when things are starting to head towards more commitment you become fearful so sabotage it? You mentioned you have had therapy, have you been diagnosed with ROCD, if so, has the therapist tried ERP therapy? Try a different therapist to determine exactly where it is stemming from.

Tim