@sammy Yes we have decided to keep in touch although he is more realistic than me at this point in the breakup. In my heart, I know the chances of reconciliation are low because we must be so far apart for so long. I am trying not to worry about the future. I understand the circumstance of this virus has led to the demise of my relationship. I do understand the reality, but emotionally I am in denial at times. However, that does not mean that I don’t understand and accept.

The only chance to be reunited at this point as it seems is when he makes it to canada which might be 12 months or longer from now. We have already been forcefully separated by COVID for 8 months. I understand that the excitement that he had for our relationship has dwindled because of the time apart. If I am honest mine is weaker of course too.

We were a new couple when this happened. We have been apart 70% longer than we have been together. He reached a phase where he accepted the situation before me. We both understood the reality of it as we talked about what would happen if this continued multiple times. We both anxiously hoped that travel would become possible for us, or that the global situation would improve. We both continued to hold on for quite some time. Is that what you meant when you said I was not ready for the truth?

We have decided to talk as we have before but we are doing it so platonically.  Logically for me, I understand why the virus has town us apart and we can longer be together. I still hold onto some hope. He thinks that we should not because the chances are so low that we have not moved on by the time we can finally be reunited. However, he wants to leave the door open.

We are talking to each other again perhaps too much. It is the same as before except knowing that we are broken up. We want to help each other through the COVID and we want to keep in touch. We talk to each other throughout the day every day. He texts me while I sleep and me while he sleeps. We chat in the evening, and in the morning. I stay up late so we talk for hours every night for almost 14 months now.  We never run out of things to say. I know him more in this short time than people I have spent years with. We have a strong mental bond we get along so well. Despite having the communication back I still find myself in an anxious state, not doing the things that I need to do for myself and feeling emotional. While he is there I also know that he is gone.