One thing I’ve learned from my relationship and @Tim insight is that it is easy to fall in or out of love. The long-lasting relationships are not based on the love you had in the beginning, that love itself is not enough. When two people genuinely care for one another they want to be there for the person regardless of what they might go through- through thick and thin. They are on the same page, they work through whatever comes their way. That working through is an action! That action is love. That type of love requires commitment. So real love is honoring that commitment to keep the love burning, trusting, and being loyal. You are choosing to stay in love no matter what.
Some people have difficulty committing even when they love someone with all their heart. So without the commitment, I would not call it true love needed for a healthy long-lasting relationship. My ex loved me at one point in his own way but he never committed as I did hence we are not together. When you commit you are saying I’m willing to risk it, I’m willing to do anything to keep us together.
Being platonic friends is not real love, because you are willing to date others and find love elsewhere, it is saying you are an option, I’m not 100% all-in. If you think you will regret closing the door then to make it work and keep it as an option, you will need a healthy boundary to put distance between you so not talking daily, not being each others main emotional support, etc.
“Pseudo platonic friends” will get you into trouble, the chemistry will not change, you will talk daily, you will become more emotionally attached, your needs will then seep out. You may go on dates but one of you may hold yourself back but the other may find love. Are you prepared to do that to yourself after becoming more attached? Is this all worth the pain if you both are not on the same page, you both can’t commit to stay loyal and see this through to the end?
I think Tim (where are you by the way???!!) would say where is your self worth? Why are you not believing in yourself? You deserve someone who is all in. So if he isn’t committing to keep you and fight to be together even with the distance then move on. Let go of the security blanket. You admitted you are not caring for yourself, lost motivation, a good relationship should not drain you. Love your self. I think Tim would say that.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 