Dear Amelia:

“If I get married, I must live with my in law.. should I continue this or not?”- no,  because he uses you as a punching bag.

You wrote: “I am not his punching bag”- but you have been his punching bag!

“I decided to meet and apologize to him, but he won’t accept it.. he still not accept it.. He just stormed off”- the punching bag (victim) repeatedly apologized to the one punching her (victimizer), and the victimizer did not accept the apology of his victim. Don’t marry that!

Look how angry he gets: “he got easily irritated.. he would get mad at me… he got angry and vent his anger to me… he was getting angry to me without any reason… He got very angry back.. he put up a wall.. by not pick up my phone and not texting back”.

“he has a lot of pressure from his jobs and family. He is working in his family business… His family also have similar character with him, they are temperamental”-

– If you marry him, you will be living with an angry man and with his angry family, and because he will continue to be involved in the family business that causes him pressure, his pressure will continue to be expressed in him using you as a punching bag. And because it is easy to punch a people-pleaser who does not assert herself (“I am a people pleaser type, hard saying No and not making boundaries”), maybe his family too will be using you as a punching bag!

Marrying him and his family is a recipe to a lot of punching, lots of drama, and lots of misery. (And the worst part perhaps is if you brought children into such misery)

anita