Dear Mia:

You are welcome. About your concern that he hates you: if he thoroughly understood what motivated you when you mistreated, he would not hate you. One day, when you finally understand what motivated you all along, you will no longer hate yourself/ feel the shame you mentioned.

I think that you projected into your online boyfriend a role that didn’t belong to him, that of a parent- a parent who must prioritize his child, who must spend all this time with his child, etc. But he is your peer, even younger than you. He was not your parent, he was an equal.

You do need someone to understand you, and through that person’s understanding, you will  understand yourself more and more. But that someone cannot be a guy, it has to be a professional, a therapist. Regarding the guy- if you have a way to send him a detailed, private apology message, I can help you write it.

anita

• This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by .