Dear Ayu:

“I am scared that I might be smothering him… I can’t control myself sometimes”-

– first thing  to do is to aim at practicing self control over your behavior, not over your feelings. Figure out what behaviors are smothering and don’t engage in those behaviors. Example: if you ask him many times per day: do you love me? – change that behavior and ask him only once a day. You can tell your husband: I want to stop asking you this question many times a day, so I will be asking it once a day, every morning, or every evening, is it okay with you?

“I can’t stop feeling insecure and the fear of  losing him and not being loved enough. Why do I constantly feel scared about this?”, “How do I crave his affection so much?”-

– I am guessing that you felt insecure as a child, afraid of losing a parent, perhaps, and not being loved enough, I imagine you craved a parent’s affection so much. Am I guessing and imagining correctly?

anita