Hi Anita,

When he and I were together, we would go to my mom’s to visit her (they live in the same town).  She absolutely loved him.  She loved talking with him, she loved to see how connected he and I were, and she felt that I finally found the happiness that I so deserved after such a horrific marriage.  I really think he is wondering what her opinion is of him now.  I believe he still wants to feel accepted by her.   But, that acceptance comes with a stipulation…me.  My mother is concerned of how I am doing, not him.  She wants happiness for me; she’s indifferent about what happens to him in his life.  She has told me many times that he blew it.  He had someone who loved him very much, someone he could have had a happy life with, but let childish issues get in the way of that.

My dad passed away in 2009 at the age of 72 (my mom was 68 at the time).  My mom is going to be 82 in January.  She talks about how life is short.  She didn’t plan on having my dad taken away so soon; they didn’t have enough years together in retirement.  Most of her retirement has been without him.  She values life and relationships.  And the fact that bf doesn’t value those things she feels makes him a fool.  I miss my dad.  He probably would have told bf to his face that he should man up and stop being a child.  My dad did not show much affection, but he had a protective way about him and was quite a force to reckon with.

Katie