Dear Tati:

“when I mentioned my insecurities about him having a secret life, he literally said ‘people can have a secret life anywhere even if they live next door, you just have to learn to trust people’. I agree with his logic”.

I don’t agree with his logic. Basically, what he told you is that because people can betray your trust next door to you, you should trust people everywhere. My logic is: people can betray your trust next door to you and far away from you; therefore, you should be reasonably cautious and get to know a person over time before you invest significant time, emotion, or money in him/ her.

He told you that it didn’t bother him that his last girlfriend was long-distance, suggesting that he wouldn’t mind you being his long-distance girlfriend. Any idea why it didn’t and wouldn’t bother him to not be physically with a girlfriend?

anita