Dear Peppermint:

I am well, thank you. Before I attend to the current topic I want to mention something interesting regarding your previous thread of July this year:

On July 12, you wrote regarding what the older man who lives in the UK thought about the pandemic: “He seems to believe everything will be fine in 6 months.. he is just so optimistic about the pandemic will be over in 6 months”.

Regarding what you thought about the pandemic, you wrote: “we still don’t know how Covid-19 will pan out in the foreseeable future… we don’t know when the pandemic will end”.

On July 12, in the UK, there were 651 new cases of Covid-19 infections, and 9 deaths. Almost five months later in the UK, on Dec 5- there were 15,539 new cases and 397 new deaths.

Clearly he was wrong and his optimism turned out to be far, far from reality. Not only is the pandemic not over in the UK (and elsewhere)- it is many, many times worse. You have a good reason to suspect any other optimism assertion that he may make to you.

You wrote at the time: “I do feel like the overly optimistic assertions make me feel that my thoughts are not valid and that I need to be ‘positive’ all the time. I do try to be positive but I can’t ignore the fact that it is a rather difficult time to plan anything or do anything. A lot of our lives and plans have remained inert due to the pandemic”- he was indeed overly optimistic, and your thoughts were valid and realistic.

And now, regarding the current topic, you wrote that you are (still) unemployed, living with your parents, and therefore not paying bills, and you want to ask your relative to pay you back for money she owes you. But you feel that you “don’t really have a legit sort of excuse to ask for the money back”-

– If it’s been agreed that she pays you back and the debt is overdue, she should have paid you back on her own, or if she needed more time, she should have asked you for more time. It’s too bad that it often happens that a person lends money, and then have to ask for it, and feel that an excuse is needed.

But this is the case here. So, you can ask her without giving a reason for asking. You can say in a casual, friendly tone: can you pay me back for (the amount) that I loaned you?

Ask that and say nothing more, just wait for her answer.

If she asks you: what do you need the money for.. you are not paying bills, etc. (which would be none of her business), you can say: I really need that money. Can you pay me back very soon?

– you need the money, if for no other reason, just for your peace of mind, so that you don’t have to think about it anymore and be in suspense. Don’t tell her what you need the money for because that puts you in a position of weakness, as if you are asking her for her money. It is your money, so you don’t need to give her a reason or an excuse.

anita