Dear Nichole:

I am thinking about you today, re-read our communication August 2018-> February 2019, all before the pandemic, before anyone heard of Covid-19, and yet, there was so much pain then, pain that you expressed.  You were back from Florida at the time, Aug 2019, back to a tiny apartment in Chicago, then Jan 1 2019 you moved to your aunt’s  basement.. then all the moving and struggling and finally back to Florida and more struggling, then Covid-19, the cherry on top, so to speak. And here we are, now, and you are considering reconnecting with your aunt in Chicago, with whom you spoke last in April this year. Maybe you already contacted her.

Here is the thought I had today: psychiatric medications- seems like you always had a resistance to those, had them prescribed to you but didn’t commit to taking any, not for long, if at all. Personally, I was anti psych drugs, but I learned that sometimes, for some people, they are the right thing to do. If your turmoil is like you shared, having been going on for so many years with ups and downs, instability and confusion, and the psychotherapy/ PTSD therapies that you tried- didn’t help with the instability, intense anxiety, ups and downs and confusion-  it may be that you really do need to get serious about a mood stabilizer, such as Risperdal (Risperidone)  or Seroquel, something to take the edge off the ups and downs.

Maybe you should give psych medications a new consideration and a new attitude.

anita