Dear Rob:

You are welcome.

“I’m fearful that even if I change as a father my time with her has passed”- I understand, but changing as a father to the better will help your children and it will help you to feel better about yourself. It also increases the chances of reuniting with your wife.

“she hasn’t overcome the depression. It’s there everyday. She wanted me to help her overcome it and I failed”- you suggested earlier that she became deeply depressed as a result of her mother passing last year. For the purpose of understanding the nature of her depression better, I ask: what do you know about the relationship she had with her mother, as a child and as an adult?

“Do you think it’s a good idea if I stay somewhere else temporarily or should I stay in the home?”- I don’t know, it depends on her preference. If you stay somewhere else she may feel more lonely and more depressed, or she may feel better. She may feel better followed by feeling worse.

You can ask her, but do so in a casual manner, saying something like: I am willing to stay elsewhere for a couple of days, to give you some time alone, if you want. If she doesn’t answer you in a decisive way, tell her to take her time considering your offer and get back to you.

anita