Dear miyoid:

“I thought I should be working on my ego like everybody else, it’s a toxic thing to have much of it”- ego as a toxic thing means to have an overly high self-esteem, viewing others as less worthy of respect than oneself, being bigheaded, that is, having an exaggerated sense of one’s own abilities, qualities, and importance; putting other people down.

– I don’t see any connection between this common use of ego and you. Do you see a connection?

“What do we do then? Do we have to distract (ourselves) from these unjust details and focus on other stuff? I felt like distraction is just a denial you will always be coming to that thought later”- I agree, distracting yourself from something that significantly bothers you will work temporarily at best. But there is a place for distraction- it is a tool that my therapist introduced to me as a way to manage my emotions, so it has a place. But for long-term peace of mind, we do have to resolve issues that significantly bother us.

You work 9 hours a day, then spend 2 hours getting ready and traveling to and from work, that’s 11 hours a day, leaving you 13 hours for sleep and anything else.. how is your sleep these days, I remember that you shared not long ago that you don’t sleep much during the night?

“We really need people who care about to put up with that.. power comes from our strong connection”- correct, it is our social connections that give us the motivation to carry on unpleasant and/or difficult life tasks.  How is your live-in boyfriend doing, and how is current relationship with him?

anita