Dear Explorer:

“The thought of getting a disapproving look thrown at me makes me want to curl up immediately”- this is a body-memory of how it felt when you got a disapproving look as a child.

“Hearing their positive opinion about me feels like a warm rain pouring over me”- this is a body-memory of how it felt receiving an approving look/ gesture by your parents.

As you can see/ feel- children are very sensitive to their parents approval/ disapproval. Children are highly motivated to receive the first and avoid the second. Parents are too quick to express too much disapproval for their children’s undesirable behaviors, not understanding that it takes very little, very limited and gentle disapproval to motivate a child to change undesirable behavior.

anita