Update as of now: He messaged i answered rudely but then i messaged him back saying i did not mean to sound rude. He was like i am so nice.  I know that sounds insane from what i was thinking practically but honestly i think it is going to take time for me to get over him. I probably don’t want to stop talking to him. It’s affecting me immensely because coming from my behaviour it’s changed totally. Yesterday after he left, i was feeling very bad and i ended up in crying after i left after some time. I could feel a void somewhere that i can’t explain. I never felt this way before. I’m in a 5 year relationship, but my bf kept on saying that i never loved him, he proposed to me after i broke up with my ex fiance, i took time to respond i thought i finally found the right person so i said yes. It was really that case, after 2 years, i left,  came to do further studies. Even though, i was in relationship with him, i had weird dreams about my ex and i could not tell this to my bf because he didn’t want to hear any of it. He could not bear the fact that i had a past relationship and i was about to get married (broke up due to his infidelity with several women). I think i am falling for this senior guy because of his nature, not by looks or anything, i’ve always heard of him being nice, respecting and  helping.  I realise that he is the kind of person i want to be with. I’m trying really hard to get over this  but i can’t think of any bad about him. It’s maybe the more i know about his niceness and kind nature i tend to be more engrossed. I have a deadline for university i am trying to work out this as soon as possible last night he was like finish my task we’ll talk later.  I wish he was never married but he is. This troubles me a lot. Whatever it takes i know i am not going to cross the line. It could be love or crush i don’t know my feelings yet. But it is not something to be long lived for sure and i am not going to say anything about my feelings despite he liking me. Because it could get more and more complicated.

Sarah