Thank you for taking the time to read my post and reply, it is much appreciated.

‘A decision on whether to have a relationship between two people needs to be made by the two individuals, not by one. If you give him all the information and let him make the decision for you- you are giving your power away.’.. This makes alot of sense and is something I had not thought about. I need to decide what is right for me and likewise it is for him to decide what is right for him.

Whilst on our last few walks after I offered friendship I’ve began to feel more relaxed and the conversation has began to flow, and it seemed to be the same for him. We began to share more. I’ve shared a little more about my son, about my parents and growing up, about work, my interests and social life as limited as that can be sometimes, but I do connect with my friends regularly.. In our conversation whilst we have laughed and joked – we have a similar sense of humour – I have found out more about him.. Although he is happy being alone and independent he’d like company too, someone to share his life with whilst still being able to spend time alone.. this made me think of how I enjoy my independance and do like time alone. What I mean in my last relationship it felt claustrophobic and it felt too much leading to feeling like I needed to escape, I couldn’t give him what he felt he needed – to be there all the time. Does that make sense? I enjoy company but not being joined at the hip.

We’ve spoken about what things we like to do outside work/caring duties.. He likes history WW2, antiques, model making, reading, walking, he used to be in the territorial army, he likes watching old films and is intrigued by science fiction, we’ve had some great conversation around that!  Socially minus the current pandemic he’ll meet on the odd occasion for a beer with a mate or mates at his local, or head off to a car boot sale or antiques market. Me, I like history, antique markets, keeping fit and being active, long walks and fresh air, reading, making things/crafting..

I guess there’s plenty more to find out..

I do feel at ease with him and it’s made me think this evening whether I’m hiding behind friendship out fear? Fear that what I can offer wouldn’t be enough.. that he would want more like my ex did.. but then he’s not my ex.. x