I forgot to mention than in terms of caring for my son he is in my care 24/7, and visits his dad along with his brother once every other Saturday but they very rarely of at all stay overnight – now they are old enough to make that choice they generally choose not to stay over. They used to stay at my parents sometimes, but that is a rarity too now.

I’ve managed to carve out time a few days a week of a morning to go for walks for a few hours or so with this guy on the days he has off.. but I still fear, based in past experience as I’ve explained, that I feel I wouldn’t be able to offer enough time to a relationship.

Just feeling quite sad now coming to realise, despite loving my sons to bits, how restricted my life feels at times..