Dear Dee:

You are welcome. “I am so doubtful of WHO I Am or WHAT I can be”-

– You are a woman who wants to love and be loved, and you can be that woman.

“My mother told me that I was unattractive and I wouldn’t amount to much at all”- to a child, her mother is god almighty, whatever god aka mother says is the word of god. So, the child believes what her mother says.

“I’m trying to believe that I am worthy but it’s so unbelievably hard”- I know how hard it is. I too believed that I was not worthy. What a surprise it was for me when I finally believed otherwise- I had no idea how it felt to be worthy until I felt it. The reason that as adults, it’s so difficult to stop believing what mother told us when we were children, is that her words are etched in our brain… and although we shed our skin, we don’t shed our brain- our childhood brain and her words in it are still part of us at any age.

Your friend told you “snap out of it!”. To snap out of something means to stop experiencing something unpleasant- well you can snap out of an uncomfortable, tight piece of clothing by removing it.. but you can’t remove your brain.

She told you “love that’s in fairytales and romance doesn’t exist”- love exists; fairytales and the fictional romance genre of stories do not exist in real life.

“I’m also quite overwhelmed in determining if what I am asking is fair and just”- asking that a man you are with does not engage sexually with other women online or in person is fair and just, for your safety (STDs) and for your mental health.

“I keep fighting to get my point across”- I would admit defeat in that fight, if I was you: he is not motivated to listen to what you say, so .. it doesn’t matter what you say (unless it is about something that concerns him, ex. he will listen and answer you if you ask him what he wants for dinner).

anita